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Do you work for an organization that refuses to survey their clients' needs because then they might be held accountable to fulfill those needs? Have I got the solution for you! Introducing the Double Blind Suggestion Box!

Now you may be familiar with the suggestion box, a device which takes client needs and desires and sublimates them into easily disposable slips of paper. This is an excellent way of addressing client needs without actually doing anything. Any time a client voices a desire, direct them to the suggestion box where that desire can be safely contained and ignored. Unfortunately, the suggestion box has one fatal flaw: suggestions can build up between disposal periods. This may lead to some poor sap examining the suggestions and attempting to document or implement them. This cannot be allowed to happen. If clients realize someone is paying attention to the suggestion box they may be encouraged to voice their concerns and even hold people accountable to fulfill them.

So how does the Double Blind Suggestion Box solve this problem? It's easy. Clients expend their desires into the box as normal. Meanwhile, your direct reports have a box of their own, where they may expend suggestions of things they are willing to do for your clients. When suggestions on one side reaches a dangerous level, follow the Double Blind Procedure. Remove a suggestion from one box. Remove a suggestion from the other. They will not match, which means they can be safely disposed of. Repeat until one box is empty, then throw away the rest of the other box. Now accountability is fully contained inside a ritual where it can never harm anyone while still maintaining the facade that anything that is highly desired and highly possible can still be implemented.