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A Rutabaga A Tape Measure A Space Jam DVD A Toilet A Clump of Belly Cheese A Seashell A Phased Plasma Rifle in the 40-Watt Range A Fine Leather Jacket A Ticket Outta This Joint A Rock A Pair of Headphones A Clue A Warp Core A Disposable Lighter A 24kt Gold Ingot A Diamond Sword A Non-Fungible Token A Large Hadron Collider A Severed Ear A Dictionary A Stapler, Red An Octopus A Box of Girl Scout Cookies (Samoa) A Salt Shaker Filled with Pepper A Three of Clubs A Thorne–Żytkow object The Sun A Snowball A Memo Pad A 45rpm single of "Jailhouse Rock" (with "Treat Me Nice" on the B-side) The 4th Human Chromosome A Tiny Screw that probably fell out of something but Who Knows A Macroeconomics Textbook A Slotted Spoon perfect for making Baked Beans A Can of Baked Beans A Small Stone Owl A Half-Broken Antique Ship's Lantern A Fish Spatula A Dragon Egg (Hatched) A Train Ticket between Lisbon to Portland An Overdue Medical Bill A Peacock Feather A Rubber Duck version of an Unfamiliar Character A Salt Lick A Necklace made of Black Piano Keys A "Limited Edition" Princess Diana Beanie Baby Bear A Self-Portrait of Norman Rockwell, but not the one you're thinking of, A Comically Oversized Plastic Toad A Pair of Novelty 2020 Glasses An Existential Crisis Duck Lamp A Sawed-off Shotgun A Stradivarius Violin A Non-Functional Furnace Knob taken as a souvenir from a Dorm Room A copy of A Kids Book About Periods by Jessica Biel A Hard Drive full of Bitcoin An Angry Canadian Goose An Unfamiliar Family Photograph A Good Man An Al Gore Campaign Button A Matryoshka Doll set but they're all the same for some reason A Mint Copy of Action Comics #2 (not the good one) A Brand new box of C-3PO cereal A VCR Tape labeled "Saturday Night Live 11/19/88" A "Crying laughing" emoji in plushie form A Gold Ring from Sonic the Hedgehog A 1997 Nickel A G1 Optimus Prime Trailer A Half-Empty Coffee Mug A Half-Full Coffee Mug A List of Every Possible Object A Pipe Organ from St. Steven's Cathedral A Timex Digital Watch An Unused Prophylactic A Pine Cone A Mat of Dryer Lint A Set of Ukulele Strings A Fresh Set of Wisdom Teeth An Unopened and Weirdly Heavy Can of New Coke A Left Glove An Orb to Ponder A Pair of Tau Leptons A Sterile Neutrino A Kidney Stone in a Small Glass Jar A Bullet Used in the Assassination of President Humphrey A Candy Bar Wrapper A Hindenburg-class Airship An Infinite Improbability Drive A Plastic Thing that looks important but you have no idea what it's for A Foghorn Leghorn Coffee Cup A Paranoid Android A Round Tuit A Plastic Bag full of Plastic Bags A Pic-a-nic Basket A Picture of Sean Connery autographed by Roger Moore A Pair of Thumbs from the guy who had two thumbs A Ream of Printer Paper A Milk Crate repurposed to be a chair in the back of a busy kitchen A Bird Feeder (empty) A Grapefruit scented candle A pack of paper joss-cigarettes that have been burned as an offering to the ancestors A Tapir A Blue Porcelain Teacup manufactured between the years 1948-1950 in Occupied Japan A set of earplugs (with earwax) A ziploc bag with a bit of white residue A roll of tape A strawberry A sphere of clear polystyrene from the stomach of a man who ate coffee cups A boarding pass for an American Airlines flight from 1996 A small pair of scissors A "fun-size" bottle of shampoo A felt-tipped pen A copy of Servants of the Wankh by Jack Vance A Set of Empty Plastic Sprues from a RX-78 Gundam Model A 90's era ShakeWeight A Chartreuse Houndstooth Handkerchief A VHS tape labeled "The Hacienda 11th Grade" A Beer Bottle filled with Seawater A Pile of Mixed Hair from a Barbershop A Karaoke Machine A Box of One Dozen Mixed Doughnuts A Box of One Dozen Mixed Donuts A VL3000 Varilight Theatrical Moving Head Light Fixture A Very Important Tyrannosaurus Rex A Ferrari 250 GT California A Glass Vial containing the vasopressin secreted by an individual while they had a romantic daydream about the stranger sitting a few seats down from them on a bus A plastic bucket full of golf balls covered in lunar dust A Suspiciously Radioactive Manhole Cover An MRI Magnet A 'Make Your Own Demon Core' Kit The Ark of the Covenant A small Asteroid from the Oort Cloud made mostly of ice but containing a lump of platinum the size of a canned ham A Flan A copy of the second book of Aristotle's Poetics A single fleck of dust made of dust mites and human skin A signed first-edition hardcover copy of Sailor Moon: American Kitsune by David Gonterman A "Mr. Meat" bagel sandwich from the Bagel Street Deli in Athens, Ohio A Recording of the greybody spectrum of Hawking radiation released by a black hole that just ate the Oxford English Dictionary (unabridged) A novelty pencil eraser A cassette tape labeled "Kira Bollywood Recital" A Berenstein Bears DVD A Bearinstain Bears DVD A terrible muffin from a coffee cart in Broad Ripple A Stolen Rosemary A Banana made of Antimatter A fresh bundle of thyme with receipt A dress that is blue and black or white and gold depending on how you look at it A selection of necessary badges A Big Bird puppet costume (empty) A collection of every screen-used prop from The Last Starfighter A piece of paper listing how many doors and how many wheels there are in the universe A brand new dumpster A portrait of an animal drawn with a very fine camelhair brush A piece of candy with dust and dog hair stuck to it A chewed up wad of Wrigley's Doublemint Gum removed from the bottom of a seat at Yankee Stadium An AD&D 1st edition character sheet filled out for a half-elven fighter/cleric/magic-user An Iron Throne made from many swords hammered together A Mind Goblin A sheet of metal with the very small atomic scale letters IBM etched into it A sealed cardboard box with a proper shipping label to Santa Claus A PlayStation memory card containing only Crash Bandicoot saves A nice set of silverware A palate of duck confit A sixth-grade book report on A Wrinkle in Time written by Trent Reznor A lock of Vladimir Lenin's Hair, with certificate of authenticity An amateur painting of Christ A copy of the Kama Sutra with positions depicted in ASCII A pair of Disney cast member communal underwear A duck-sized horse A "danger radiation drop & run" cookie cutter A biscuit with "DO NOT EAT, GREEN INK IS BAD FOR YOU" written in green ink A cocaine-encrusted bible An important looking letter marked "return to sender" A laminated sign saying "PLEASE DO NOT BE ON FIRE" A piece of broken wire with two odd little green furry dots A map of Kenosha, Wisconsin A set of bullets with "Delay" "Deny" and "Depose" carved into them A hypnoglyph A bottle of whiskey with a toe floating inside A lemon meringue pie A steam engine A flaming bag of dog poop A prince rupert's drop A sheet of paper with a proof that P≠NP A sheet of paper with a proof that P=NP A klein bottle A tesseract A horse-sized duck A slug of banana-flavored rum from Colombia A bag of fake snow made of asbestos A banana slug A mirror that shows objects closer than they actually are A bolt of thirsty bombazine A quail family in a cardboard box A handmade quilt depicting Goya's Saturn Devouring His Son A question mark suit formerly owned by Matthew Lesko, or, The Riddler A "Beasty Boyz II Men" embroidered patch An Egg A chunk of Ruin Marble A handful of perfectly sauced spaghetti A replica Silmaril from the Tol Eressëa gift shop A giant bronze statue of Karl Marx wearing a Christmas hat A manual lever espresso machine A bag of crudely crushed coffee beans An illuminated parchment of the Treaty of Westphalia A purring cat A clock striking 13 A Pataphor A handwritten note from Taylor Swift with several encouraging words The stuffing from a stuffed-crust pizza A Toblerone A half-mouse A great crested newt A stuffed crust pizza A silver sleigh bell A paper fortune-teller A pallet of Ea-nāṣir's copper ingots The entrails of the last priest A cherry blossom A beehive A paperclip An incomplete printout listing all 9 billion names of god A wilhelm scream A box of honeycomb cereal The original "Wow!" signal printout A single maid a-milking A slice of the trunk of Prometheus, the formerly oldest living organism A crabapple tree A space invader A VHS tape of The Thing A Manta Ray A screwdriver A 3.2×10^20 eV cosmic ray A cosmic ray detector A decrepit London Cab A cubic centimeter of Angelim Vermelho bark sampled from the exact center of amazonia A pen fit for a king A box full of uselessly short strings labeled "Strings too short to save" A cypress knee A bouncy ball A cuckoo An Angelic Visage A kaleidoscope An extremely large ball of twine A hydroelectric dam A vacuum, abhorred by nature A counterfeit gravestone An earthworm A complete collection of The Journal of Irreproducible Results A necklace made of marathon runner toenails A nice heavy stone, perfect for skipping A nice heavy stone, completely worthless for skipping A matchbox containing one living trilobite A copy of The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire signed by Caesar Augustus A Happy Clam An antique Wok A brinicle A katana, still sharp A coloring book of flowers and anatomically correct hearts A Japanese puzzle box A 4k Blu-Ray of The Chase (1994) starring Charlie Sheen An array of light bulbs currently depicting a peacock A broken light bulb A lovely cobweb A pair of jorts with "juicy" written on the butt A speckled blue eggshell, abandoned A keyring full of random keys you're afraid to throw away An origami dragon A maximum of four juggling balls A five leafed clover A complete Mandelbrot Set, still in the box An enormous box containing 75 cat whiskers A nubbin collection A dongle A pink lawn flamingo A single peanut M&M A baby monitor lizard A Heisman Trophy A cat clock, keeping rhythm to an unknown timescape A body paint kit you used to know A magic torch that will burn as long as Centralia, PA does An unopened box of secrets A porcelain dish in the shape of a drop of milk that just hit a surface A clockwork frog (used) A tangled slinky A perfectly whorled snail shell A German nutcracker screaming for its missing lever A hellbender salamander A baby monitor tuned to a dead channel A bollard painted to look like a candy cane A sagging IKEA bookshelf A duplicate A Nicolas Cage sequin pillow A lightsaber A magnetic monopole A magnetic tripole A poster of Elliot Gould and Grover, signed by Grover A decent ham and cheese sandwich A sheet of notepaper covered in variations of that cool S A Big Mouth Billy Bass that's been hacked to sing Never Gonna Give You Up A half-chewed eraser A beer hat A 16mm film reel labeled "Robert Mapplethorpe bloopers" The One Ring to Rule them All The keys to the Starship Enterprise A Flux Capacitor A King's Quest hint guide A crate of ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife The Third Secret of Fátima A box of one dozen starving crazed weasels A set of allen wrenches A 9/16in combination wrench An AN/PDQ-1 Multifunction Radiac A rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle A MegaElixir A Phoenix Down A CD-R containing a watermarked prerelease copy of Madonna & Justin Timberlake's 2008 song, 4 Minutes A single stick of fruit stripe gum A hidden pixel The Question to the Ultimate Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything A phial of Billy Bob Thornton's Blood A succulent Chinese meal A jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou A three-headed monkey The Ultimate Insult A fully charged Gubernatorial Capacitor A Sonic Screwdriver A Tricorder A Type II Phaser A Federation Communicator A picture of paper, or maybe snow... or a ghost A Snowbank A Devil on your shoulder A Big Key A Compass A Dungeon Map A Hookshot A Batarang A small chunk of Kryptonite The Bottled City of Kandor A Gift for the Man who has Everything A Lotus flower (uneaten) A Quantum of Solace The exact number of roads a man must walk down A Ship Rib My favorite piece of equipment... though I haven't used it in months A Scouter rated for power levels up to 8999 A Dragon Radar An unlabeled Capsule Corp capsule The International Space Station The Sword that Seals the Darkness A Scroll of oFish A Scroll of Summon Johnny Wallbank A Scroll of Gennaro's Additional Parking A Healing Potion An Estus Flask An Estrus Flask A Manna Potion A half-empty can of 4loko A Padded Gambeson of the Owl A miniature F5 tornado sealed in box A missing link A catalog of lost media A trunk made of Sapient Pearwood A farmer's trophy for being "out standing in your field" The World Famous Greenbelt Utility Pole A Moholy-Nagy Light-Space Modulator A Glade scented plugin that smells of regret A very dull sword A cheap plastic orrery A multi-neck bass guitar A translating dictionary for two unfamiliar languages A stale green fruit loop A fine feathered friend An intricately detailed plastic model of Godzilla packaged with an unnervingly detailed Tokyo Tower A Sword smithed from iron extracted from the blood of your Enemies The Autobot Matrix of Leadership A perfect agate A hovering kestrel An echo pressed between the pages of an old book A pressed leaf, brown and crumbling between your fingers, its original color unknown. A swarm of ladybirds A birb A borb A copy of The Library of Babel (abridged) A Barbie Action Figure A G.I. Joe Doll A Hatsune Miku costume An M134 Minigun A fishbowl containing Gary the anomalocaris An adamantium skellington A heptagonal stop sign A painted stone A holographic turtle An indescribable colour A glass fishing float A handful of tumeric powder The deed to a salt mine in Utah A map of the LGBTQIA+ community A copy of How To Always Say the Right Thing by Glorietta Axelrod A "Beware of the Leopard" sign A Boondock Saints poster autographed by the 1999 New Orleans Saints A high pressure fuel injector A circular smartphone A Tyranosaurus Power Morpher A Behelit A Swedish-made penis enlarger pump A rusty T-60 powered armor suit A USB drive labeled "Virus" A pair of seven-league boots A Philosopher's Stone A Holy Grail A besom A scroll of Huizinga's Magic Circle A fax sent by a samurai to Abraham Lincoln A wrought-iron gate A Big Mac happy meal A twinkling star A crocheted baby blanket with a large discolored spot in the corner A bittersweet symphony A 2:1 scale model of Jupiter A cat's cradle A periscope A key from the Hotel California, smelling faintly of colitas A roman dodecahedron A copy of the Voynich Manuscript A working Antikythera Mechanism A vial of castoreum A scale model of that cool mall fountain from 1988 A pre-production sample of Fruit Roll-Ups A jar of Aqua Regia A Moonlight Greatsword A Cloak of Inevitability A fat blunt A Monkey's Paw A set of wooden building blocks that spell "lol butts" A burgundy 1984 Chevy Celebrity in good condition, except it needs new wipers A clone of 1984 Chevy Chase A Top Quark An ancient fertility statue modeled after Emily Blunt A Mona Lisa A Grandfather Clock A Cock of the Walk A tub of Quark A balloon dog A temporary restraining order for the person of your choosing A toothpick-sized battering ram A gimmicked set of juggler's dice A ten foot pole A partridge in a pear tree A lost sock A cherry blossom flavored KitKat A lost soul Spooky the Tuff Little Ghost's Bowler Hat A half-eaten box of Scooby Snacks An IOU for seven hundred million Pepsi points A backpack full of survival supplies A bag of holding A portable hole A Medusa Emerald A mirror inset with a broken blue gem A sample of Ice-Nine A reassuringly optimistic dog The Mighty Stone A set of web shooters A CD of E=MO2 signed by Emo Phillips A Sonic the Hedgehog commemorative plate A compass (the circle-drawing kind) A water compressor A sealed envelope containing the combined G'Gugvuntt and Vl'hurg invasion fleet A VHS tape of public domain cartoons from 2133 BC A working Cartrivision player A copy of Bridge Over the River Why a self-help book by Colonel Alec Nicholson A pint of Ben and Jerry "Sarcophagus Black Ooze" flavored ice cream A Lucky Cabbit's Foot A snowglobe from the St. Eligius Hospital gift shop Two turntables and a microphone