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Do the "American Pie" thing to the pie
Oh yeah, there was a movie about an unusual thing to do to a pie... but you can't remember what the unusual thing was. Presumably not eat it, because that seems far too usual. Well, the pie needs to cool anyway so you set off to figure out what it means to American a Pie.
You don't happen to have that particular movie in your collection, so you head on down to the local Blockbuster to give it a rent. Unfortunately, when you get there you see a little piece of paper taped to the window that says "Blockbuster closed, for like 15 years now, nobody rents movies any more."
That doesn't seem right, so you go inside and ask the lone employee inside the GNC. They confirm it's the case, and also mention sourly that they put that paper in the window specifically to get people to stop asking them what happened. "Go try streaming" they say.
Well, you have no idea what that means so instead you walk to the nearest Big Box store to see if you can just buy the freaking DVD. This seems like a good time to mention that the area you're in is extremely unpleasant to walk through, as it is deeply committed to cars and doesn't even have a sidewalk worth speaking of.
Anyway you dig through all the big boxes the store and there isn't a DVD of American Pie in there anywhere. Not even a VHS tape.
After several hours you pigeonhole an overworked employee and after a furtive consultation with some kind of cursed black obelisk they tell you a "Forkay Blue Ray" is scheduled to be released sometime next month.
Well, your pie will be cold by then so that's not an option. They also mention something about watching it on your tube, but you don't even have a magic obelisk much less a tube so no way is that an option.
Fresh out of ideas, you sit on a nearby fire hydrant because that's literally the only public place to sit down within three miles. In retrospect, you probably should have just eaten the pie, even if that's a usual way to engage with pie. Heck, for all you know that IS how you American a pie, and the exotic connotations are just a joke.
And here you are, miserable and hungry with no pie. What a disaster.