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Grab a table and chair... TO BURN THEM!
You always were a precocious little pyromaniac. You douse a nearby table and chair in your paten pending gasoline/lighter fluid/vodka formula, and finish the job with a casually tossed lit match. Then you dive out of the way of the sudden, totally sweet fireball.
The table and chair burn for about 45 minutes, untill there's nothing left but smoldering ash. That was fun. You should steal some other stuff and burn it. But what should you burn?