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Join the Newest Cult
The newest cult! Of course! Well, you look in the yellow pages and find the perfect one: The New Age of Human Life Scientific Religion Studies Group! The ad says their next meeting is this Friday at 564 Lifetime Avenue. You can even bring a dish to pass!
So, finally, you arrive at 564 Lifetime Avenue with your mother's French Tuna Casserole, the fruits of nearly 12 hours of painstaking cooking. You arrive, and a man wearing a leotard and beads greets you. He tells you to shed your worldly possessions, pointing to your Cell phone. You put it on a table and follow the man into the basement. There are several people who aren't wearing leotards all sitting on beanbags. They lick their lips and stare at you greedily.
"So, you guys like...stuff?" You ask. You hear a whooshing sound behind you, and you turn around to see a woman FLYING AT YOU! IT'S AN EAT ATTACK! You scream in horror and jump sideways, but all the other people are standing in a circle around you, quivering with hunger. You do the only thing you can do.
"HyperPoke!" You scream and jab your finger deep into the gut of one of the cultists. Their eyes bug out and they scream, and they vanish in a blast of white smoke. But you're not going to be able to poke all of them in time. So you summon JOHNNY WALLBANK!
Johnny appears in a flash of green light and looks around. "Oh, bloody hell. It's a bunch of cannibals." Johnny sighs, and then starts hurling big globs of Britishness at them all. While they're distracted by Johnny's Britishness, you easily HyperPoke the rest, leaving only the man who greeted you.
"You may have destroyed my cannibals," he growls, "but you will not win against me!" He screams as he transforms into a horrible monster with several tentacles and a giant mouth in his belly that is filled with sharp teeth.
"Well," says Johnny, "Let's get going!" He casts oFish, causing a rain of yummy fish to fall on the evil monster! The monster laughs and spits wads of FILTH at you! You HyperPoke the FILTH before it hits you, but your finger burns from touching it!
"Johnny!" you shout, "Our only chance is to do a Dual Tech!" He nods, and when you're both ready, he tosses a ball of Britishness into the air. You leap up and jab the ball and it glows bright white. It zooms at the monster and strikes him right in the mouth. He screams in pain, and anime-style beams of light leap out of is body as many small explosions explode around him. You're briefly dazzled by his destruction, and when the smoke clears he is gone.