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Use Special Tech: Runlikeamadman
Fearing the savage beating that these fine secret service men are bound to administer to you if you remain here, you use your special technique, Runlikeamadman, and run like a madman. It occurs to you that the special technique is rather unnecessary, seeing as you have known how to run since you were six, and have been certifiably insane since age 12. Nevertheless, the technique is neat, and you felt like using it darn it!
Unfortunately for you, all secret service agents are taught Runlikeamadman II in basic training. So catching you is all too easy for them. Once they have you in their possession, they do to you, the same thing they do to anybody who the feel poses a significant threat to the President. They beat the holy hell out of you for around 30 minutes.
Fortunately, you're only conscious for about 27 of them.