Date a teenager

You get a date with Sheena, a mildly attractive 16-years old. You buy her a car, a large beach house, a small potato, and give her your control over the world and your amazing SUPERDARKLORD powers.

 You still don't get any, which is a good thing, since you might've ended up in jail if you did.

 So now you're alone, powerless, in the middle of a non-Superdarklord midlife crisis, and everybody hates you. 	

Unconfirmed