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Eat the chicken
You grab the chicken near you and take a huge bite out of it, feathers and all. it struggles against you as you bite it more and more, but eventually gives up and dies.You continue to messily eat the chicken until only its bones are left. all of a sudden another portal opens and you are transported into an alternate dimension where chickens have evolved as the dominant creatures. you appear to be in one of their cities, and the chickens busily hustle and bustle about you, until they realize that you have chicken blood all over you, are covered in feathers, and have a dead chicken lying next to you. a group of them surround you, carrying large,painful-looking weapons. they all grin evilly. this does not look good for homestar runner.Or for you.