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There are very few problems that can't be solved with a good old fashioned firestorm! You run down to the local gas station, and buy a gasoline tank (The kind you use to refill stuff like lawnmowers, and a butane lighter (They were out of matches). Then you go home and change clothes, with some difficulty due to you having only one arm. You then take your blood soaked adventuring clothes, as well as anything else you don't really use all that much, throw them in a pile, douse them in gasoline. Finally, you light the butane lighter, and toss it down on the pile.

  The instant fireball that blasts into being is easily one of the most awesome things you have ever seen.  You're like Trogdor, such is your ability to burn stuff!  You should make a business out of it or something.

Unconfirmed