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Make secret service men dance
You call in your bodyguards, and instruct them to dance for you. Suddenly, before you can react, they begin dancing suggestively to a pulsating techno beat, flashing colored lights descend from the ceiling, and everything seems to be going fine.
But then it dawns on you. You're not the president! You're not in the white house! You're just a normal citizen, but you're in a gay bar! When the "Secret Service" begins ripping each other's clothes off, you can't stand it. You run out the door screaming.