Now run

You can't take the money and run without running. So you take off down the street, enormous bag of gold bouncing merrily on your back.

Now that you think about it, 500,000,000 gold weighs an awful lot. And it's now pounding your back over and over and over. Your spine, as a kind of silent protest, splits into its smallest units, causing you to go head over teakettle down the road, gold spilling everywhere. Throngs of people approach your foaming form and begin collecting the gold while you watch helplessly, eyes darting side to side. Finally, a Doctor approaches.

"I'm a doctor." he announces, "I can help." He then proceeds to help collect the gold. Stupid greedy doctors.

Unconfirmed