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Steal that tank!
You run up to a tank and hop in the driver's controls. Johnny shrugs and climbs in the turret to man the cannon. Laughing wildly you careen down the road, crushing the Mafia car to a thickness not unlike pancake.
Suddenly, a hand rests on your shoulder, You look back, and luckily you find it to be attached to the rest of a body. The body is dressed in a military officer's uniform, and the officer appears to be highly decorated. "Okay you two," the officer says, "This whole thing isn't NEARLY as pointless as it should be. What's going on here?"
You pipe up, "Well, Johnny and I were just starting a promising tank rampage."
"Aha!" the Officer exclaims, "That's the problem right there! You're not supposed to be doing serious things! Now here, have some raccoons." He presses a button on a remote control he was inexplicably holding, thus releasing a constant stream of raccoons from out of nowhere. What he failed to inform you is that these raccoons are in fact rabid.