Stop falling toward the pavement

Sir Issac Newton, a wise man once said, is the deadliest son of a bitch in space. But he doesn't have anything on the asshole that invented Gravity.

What was his name? you wonder, distracted, as you continue to fall.

Platonicus, or something like that? Some Greek guy, you're sure.

It's the guy that did the experiment with the hammer and the feather, you remember as your Big Heavy Mallet smashes a crater into the ground below.

This gives you an idea. Why do feathers fall so slow and hammers fall so fast? Is it because feathers are lighter? Birds have hollow bones to make themselves lighter. Feathers are probably hollow too. Like a balloon. And balloons float.

So all you have to do is make yourself really light and hollow, like a balloon. Or a feather. Problem solved!

You hit the pavement at exactly 73.52 feet per second, just like Sir Isaac Newton predicted.