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You choose the most attractive looking apple at the supermarket and, completely omitting the cheese and oranges, you leave the supermarket with the apple with plans to take it out for the night of it's life.

 You take it to the fanciest resteraunt withing a 1,000 billion nanometer radius. You treat the apple to the most expensive meal on the menu. 

 Finnaly, when you feel the time is right, you gather up your courage, display an engagment ring, and propose to the apple. The apple just sits there for the longest time. 

 Longer 

 Longer 

 Longe still. 

 After a few days, you finnaly take a hint that the apple doesn't accept. Heartbroken, you grab the apple and throw it out the nearest window. (Wow, great trowability) Then you procede to grab some dinamite, stick it in the apple, and ignite it. It blows up spectacularly spreading apple guts in every direction. (Wow, great explode abilitly.) Finnaly, you gather up all the apple guts into one great pile, and attempt to set it on fire (after adding lighter fluid ofcourse.) The Pile instantly erupts into flames. (Wow, great flamability.) You stand over the flames, laughing maniacally. 

 "If I can't have it, now one can"

 Well, you've performned your experiment, now we must gather the data. 

 Flamability: Good 

 Explodability: Good 

 Throw ability: Fair 

 Ability to feel love: Apperantly not so. 

 You submit the expirement to the science community/cult with  the following conclusion. 

"Apples may seem warm and friendly on the outside, and even so on the inside, but on the inside of the inside, they're mean and rotten to the core. "Possible sources of error are as follows: 1) Despite my extreme genius, I'm still a moron. 2) I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

Unconfirmed