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Use your newfound skillz to make dinner
Hauling your sword/slab/shield behind you, you go to your abode and begin the dinner preperations.
In no time at all, you find a head of lettuce just BEGGING to be chopped. You raise up your slab. . . It turns out your sword is much larger than the room. You knock a large chunk of plaster out of the ceiling (not to mention a piece of ceiling rafter), which proceeds to summarily knock you unconscious. Right out, yo! You awaken with amnesia.
GAME OVER