Articles
|
| This website and its contents are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License |
Attend a Gold Eater's Anonymous meeting
You head down to the local chapter of Gold Eater's Anonymous.
Once inside you manage to find a support group of people with a similar habit of eating currency. You take a seat in one of the chairs arranged in a little circle. Eventually all the chairs around you fill up, and people start standing up and telling the group about themselves.
It's pretty boring, until somebody of average size wearing a leotard and beads stands up. "I'm a guy with beads," he says.
"Hi Mr. Guy With Beads" the support group mumbles. Apparently they're as bored with this as you are.
"I used to be a gold eater, but now I'm strong. I've gone 4 weeks without gold. The secret is in finding an acceptable alternative to gold. For me it's... PEOPLE!! BWAHAHAHAHA!"
With a mighty roar the normal sized man wearing leotards and beads turns into a horrible monster with lots of tentacles and a giant mouth in it's belly and stuff. He looks kind of familiar, in a horrible monster sort of way.
"My cult of cannibals will praise me for years once I give them your tasty flesh to feed upon!" The horrible monster bellows. He grabs several members of your support group and flees for the door. You're thankful he didn't grab you, but you can't let your fellow former gold eater's become cannibal fat people food!