Recent Articles
- Art
- Articles
- Devil's List
- Economics
- Feedback
- Good Words
- Inventory
- Lady C-3PO
- Location
- Mail Harry
- Pataphor
- Petty Justified
- Retro Christmas
- Tech Fads
- Test
- The Book of Pointless
- The Story in Your Head
- The Third Millennium
- Three Oofs To A Gyaaah
- Tipping
- Toothpaste
- Tootsie Roll Pops
- Troubleshooting
- World Famous Greenbelt Utility Pole
|
| This website and its contents are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License |
Mint the gold back into coins
It's just gold, after all. In fact, didn't you hear once that statistically speaking all the gold that you've ever touched has passed through some dinosaur's digestive tract? It's something like that, you're sure of it.
Anyway you take your gold to the nearest mint and plop it down onto the counter.
"Can I get this minted into coins?" you ask.
"Of course," says the jolly man behind the counter. He gestures at the object and adds, "You might not believe it but that's not even the weirdest thing I've been asked to mint today."
"I don't believe it." you say.
The man frowns. "Suit yourself," he says, and doesn't bother to elaborate further. Instead he takes your nugget and drops it into the hopper of a machine about the size of a inkjet laser printer. It rumbles into life and makes an upsetting series of noises before ejecting a handful of coins. Each coin has a rubber eagle on one side, and a picture of the man's face on the other.
He plops them down on the counter so you can count them. It's not your imagination, there's definitely one coin fewer than before.
"There's one coin fewer than before." you say.
"That's probably just your imagination," the man explains.
"No, there's definitely one missing," you say, then your countenance darkens and you add, "Are you trying to short-change me?"
The man adopts a defensive stance, "Now look here friend," he says, "No recycling process is 100$ efficient. And this is a stand-up operation. If there's any less now than there was before, consider it my coinage fee. And those coins are as pure as the gold you gave me, I swear."
Without thinking you pick up one of the coins and give it a bite. He's right, it's pure as he said. You leave satisfied. But the taste of gold lingers on your tongue as you do.